There has been 5 days of matching done for the month of January. I am happy to see that some matching work was done, but still, at the rate they are going, it seems like an eternity until they will reach our LID. From what I understand, China has a government office that deals just with international adoptions. There is a huge backlog of families waiting to be matched with “a typical” child (there is a different wait time if you chose to go for a special needs child). We are one of those families waiting for “a typical” child. We started the paperwork in January of 2006. Finished and sent it out that summer of 2006. Our paperwork was approved in China on September 22, 2006. That’s our LID …..log in date. Each month China matches a certain number of families. That number is posted and that is how we know that the wait is almost over. The current date that China has matched till, is August 15, 2006. August has 31 days and we are the 22 of September, so that makes 38 days to match before it is our turn. That may seem like nothing, but when you see numbers like 3 days of matching for 1 month’s work, it can be depressing. Of course, all government offices are closed now for the Chinese New Years celebration. I wonder what effect that will make on the numbers they match for February. We can only hope that it will prompt them to start the new year with a bang!
At one point, I had reached out to all the families from our LID (9/22/06) group at the adoption agency we work with. There were 13 of us. Several families showed interest in making contact and we began corresponding. None of those families are still adopting. One family saw their youngest graduate high school and felt that they had passed the age to parent a toddler. Several families switched to the special needs route (God bless them for that). Many of them dropped out due to changes in jobs, marriage status, and cost.
We are holding strong. Baby J is much loved and wanted. She has had a nursery waiting for her for over five years. She has had her stocking hung by the fire each Christmas. She has a stock pile of gifts and a mountain of clothing waiting for her arrival. She has a big sister who is growing older and can now be a babysitter versus a playmate. She has a brother who was a surprise blessing and is so much wanting to be a “Big Brother.”
Our baby is in our prayers and thoughts all of the time. Everytime…. I pass her room….see a baby held in her mother’s arms…a women who is pregnant….commercial for diapers…almost everything and anything makes me think of her. I think of her birth mother in China making the most difficult decision any mother would have to do. I wonder how she is doing in her pregnancy. Is she ill in the morning, does she crave anything, is there someone there supporting her or is she all alone in this difficult journey. I wish for her to have peace with her decision. I wish that she could somehow know that her daughter will be a cherished child and we will love her with all of our hearts. I wish that my daughter would not have to mourn the loss of her first mother to be loved by me. I remind myself that our adoption is a result of someone else’s tragedy. If China did not have a “one child policy” where would we be in our journey to have a family. I ponder these things and wonder what if…….