Here is the question that greets me each evening when Hubby comes home.
What did you do today?
Really? ….You want to know what I did today?…..I did what I do everyday…. Wake up, get the kids up, take care of morning routines and chores, get them off to school, housework, errands, snacks, homework, driving to scheduled activities, dinner, bedtime with a sprinkling of some random big mess to clean up. That’s what I do everyday. Not much changes from day to day.
I sometimes go an entire day without an adult conversation. I actually listen to telemarketers just to have some interaction with someone. I enjoy scheduling appointments just to have a break in the monotony.
I am going to take Mr.D in on Thursday to check his orthodics and we are going to make a day out of it. It’s something different, it’s something I can talk about when I get my standard “What did you do today?” question.
Yes, I am one of those moms. Questioning my abilities of mommyhood and my level of sanity with each day that passes.
I so badly wanted to be a mommy, but I grieved the lose of my career. I was a teacher and I had a specialty which was sought after to mentor and consult others in. I loved that everyday would be different and what worked one day might not the next. At one point, I even considering putting Ms. A in daycare so that I could continue working, even though I would be losing money in the long run.
It’s a blessing and a curse to be a stay at home mom.
First off, I love my kids. I love the fact that I am home when they need me. That they can try and do anything because I am available to them. I love watching them grow and seeing the new things they do from a day to day basis. I am able to maintain our home and manage the household with no outside help. I am the boss and this is my domain.
However, I know that my IQ has dropped dramatically due to the fact that for several years all I had for company and stimulation was a baby. My adult fun time interaction is quite low. I am not one to go out and make friends easily and none of my friends have the luxury of staying home. So when I got into a funk-like depression about the whole situation, everyone gave me the advice to go out and get involved in something. “That’s how you will meet people and make new friends.” When hearing this advice… And it was repeated to me often…..I always thought, now how the hell am I suppose to do that.
I have tried everything. Mommy groups, play groups, book clubs, garden clubs, structured sport activities for the kids, craft classes for me, volunteering, and going to community events… Not the type of success I was looking for. I ended up picking up responsibilities and not friends.
One of the biggest grips I have about being at home, is when other moms assume you can take charge of every party, activity, club, fundraiser, and driving schedules because you “stay at home.”
A prime example is when Ms. A wanted to do Brownies, but no mom wanted to be in charge. I thought it was a shame for all those little girls, so I stepped up and volunteered. Big mistake……. This lead to me being walked over by 15 moms. I would ask them to promptly pick their girls up at 5 pm. (I was paying for a babysitter for Mr. D and wanted to get home at a reasonable time.) There would be times I was waiting till 5:30 and I would finally pack up all the stragglers and drive them home myself. After two years of always begging for volunteers to help out with field trips, snacks, crafts, service work, I put in my resignation. The troop did replace me with a team of leaders and is somewhat functioning, but we are no longer involved.
I am now the room mother for Mr. D class. It’s my second year and I would love for some help. I send notes home, emails, and phone calls. Yes, I know you work, but could you send in a craft or snack, book to read, or game idea. Is it really that hard?
I seem to get sucked in. I always feel bad that the kids are missing out on things just because the grow ups don’t want to put in the effort.
So yes, I am involved in lots of things, but I don’t seem to be doing it right. All I get is the work and no connections.
I can ramble on and on, but it does no purpose. I guess it just feels good to vent. Hubby isn’t a follower on this blog, so tonight when he asks his “oh so original question”….I think I will answer him with this…..
I woke up, got the kids up, took care of morning routines and chores, got them off to school, did some housework, ran some errands, made snacks, helped with homework, drove to dance class, made dinner, put Mr. D to bed, and scheduled the car for an oil change.
That’s what I did today and that is a whole lot!!!