Black clouds overhead

Do you ever have one of those days or even week were it seems like a black cloud is floating overhead?

My cloud has been there for what seems forever. Thanksgiving was a bit off this year. Our first one without Oma. She was the one to plan and coordinate the menu. Always incorporating some new recipes to spice things up. I was the one to host and clean up. This year our dear friends Nonny and Papa Don invited us to celebrate with them. It was very nice and the meal was yummy, but it felt off.

I normally decorate the house the weekend after, but I didn’t have it in me. Hubby brought up the boxes and with much insistence from the children, I “assembled” our tree. Ms. A took over and decorated the tree with the help of Mr. D. Literally, the children did it all. I sat and watched. Nothing else was unpacked and nothing else is displayed. I am done. I want no more.

I can make no plans this holiday because we don’t even know if we will be here. Tomorrow our paperwork will be picked up from the consulate and then sent on the last leg of this unbelievable long journey. It will go to Beijing to get assigned a travel approval. At least that is what I think is happening. They say this can take anywhere from 9 days to 4 weeks. That leaves me in the air. The first family in our original LID group is home with their daughter. I can just look at a picture.

There are so many things to be thankful for. So many things to enjoy with my family. So many things to do and get done…..

This wait is official hitting me hard. The holidays are tough without Oma. I miss my daily talks with her. I miss making holiday plans. I miss talking about my holiday gift purchases. I miss bouncing ideas off of her.

I feel bad about how I currently look. I have stopped exercising. My weight is creeping up.

I need to get out of this mood. I need to start feeling better. I need to get some energy. I need to get it together.

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8 Comments

Filed under adoption, Family

8 responses to “Black clouds overhead

  1. Chasing after a little one soon will keep you busy and active! Your mom is still around us and snhee’d kick your but for being in a funk. Hang in there. I am plannig a fabulous Christmas Eve menu, even if you’re a weirdo who doesn’t eat seafood.

  2. I hope some sunshine pushes those black clouds away.

  3. Hope things brighten for you soon!

  4. Ellen

    Hi – Have been reading your blog and wanted to congratulate you on your beautiful daughter. Our second daughter is from Yichun city in Jiangxi province so your referral brought back memories for us! Little Dragon is a cutie and I wish you a wonderful trip when you go and get her. Our Gotcha Day was July 11, 2010 and our daughter just turned three. Hope that you feel better in the days ahead and can enjoy this time as you get ready to meet your newest family member. Take care and think positive!
    Ellen from Connecticut

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