Do you ever have one of those days or even week were it seems like a black cloud is floating overhead?
My cloud has been there for what seems forever. Thanksgiving was a bit off this year. Our first one without Oma. She was the one to plan and coordinate the menu. Always incorporating some new recipes to spice things up. I was the one to host and clean up. This year our dear friends Nonny and Papa Don invited us to celebrate with them. It was very nice and the meal was yummy, but it felt off.
I normally decorate the house the weekend after, but I didn’t have it in me. Hubby brought up the boxes and with much insistence from the children, I “assembled” our tree. Ms. A took over and decorated the tree with the help of Mr. D. Literally, the children did it all. I sat and watched. Nothing else was unpacked and nothing else is displayed. I am done. I want no more.
I can make no plans this holiday because we don’t even know if we will be here. Tomorrow our paperwork will be picked up from the consulate and then sent on the last leg of this unbelievable long journey. It will go to Beijing to get assigned a travel approval. At least that is what I think is happening. They say this can take anywhere from 9 days to 4 weeks. That leaves me in the air. The first family in our original LID group is home with their daughter. I can just look at a picture.
There are so many things to be thankful for. So many things to enjoy with my family. So many things to do and get done…..
This wait is official hitting me hard. The holidays are tough without Oma. I miss my daily talks with her. I miss making holiday plans. I miss talking about my holiday gift purchases. I miss bouncing ideas off of her.
I feel bad about how I currently look. I have stopped exercising. My weight is creeping up.
I need to get out of this mood. I need to start feeling better. I need to get some energy. I need to get it together.